Friday, October 9, 2009

I had to give myself my Progesterone shot tonight. IM. In the butt. It took me a bit to get the nerve up to do it, but in the end, I did it and it didn't even hurt. I have to do it again tomorrow night...ugh! I think if I KNEW this pregnancy was progressing well it would be easier. Shane & Peyton left today for the mountains to visit my parents (I have to work all weekend). )-: So, I am here, gearing up to work all weekend....hopefully it will help pass the time until Monday. I cried all day yesterday & then on & off today. I miss my little boy Peyton. Yesterday when I first got the phone call from my RE's office, we were playing in the backyard. I grabbed my phone and went into the kitchen and just left the backdoor open so I could keep an eye on Peyton. A few minutes later he came in & I was sitting there crying. He is such a sweet boy...he ask me if I was crying and then gave me a hug and then went outside & promptly returned with a little weed/flower...those white ones...he gave me a flower! He kissed me & hugged me & told me it was ok, not to cry. My 3 year old! He is such a sweet boy & I love him so much. I did something stupid & wasteful tonight, I bought another 3 pack of FRER pregnancy tests. I bought a box last Saturday night after work if you recall....I took those tests on 10/3, 10/4 and 10/6...the day of beta #1, which was 57. I couldn't resist today & did a test as soon as I got home. It was instantly dark...much darker than 10/6, but then again that was 3 days ago. I wish I had one from yesterday morning. The plan is to do one each morning & see if the line gets darker or lighter between now & Monday. Not that it means much....Monday's Beta is what will really count. I am realistic, I know it will most likely end badly. It will either be a blighted Ovum or an ectopic but I have the tiniest bit of hope that I will go in on Monday & it will be 400 plus. I still have my symptoms...the bloating, the fatigue...but then again, I guess that will not go away until my HCG level REALLY drops. For allI know, I could be at 88 right now and on the verge of it starting to drop.... Oh, here is the picture I took today (because I am a crazy idiot!) of this afternoon's HPT & the one from 5am on Tuesday 10/6....when my beta was 57:


Jenny said...

I've been praying for you and your eggie(s). I am hoping the low number was just due to the hcg still working out of your system, so the 50+ one included some hcg shot and Thursday's was the natural level. Make sense?! It does to me at least! PRAYING!!!

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