Monday, August 10, 2009

So tired of waiting

You know, I have been at this TTC thing now for 2 years and first of all, I never imagined it would take this long (with still nothing to show for it all), second of all....it really breaks my heart to see all those who started TTC around the same time as me, moving on now to thinking about baby #2 or even TTC #2 or even pregnant with #2. Why can't I just have my one more that I wanted? I am sorry for venting...I am just feeling extremely emotional tonight...maybe its progesterone withdrawal....LOL...but you know what? I want babies, lots of them and if God lets me have one more through IVF, I am never going on Birth Control again in my life, and if I get pregnant AGAIN by some miracle, well bring it on! And if I do have one baby from IVF and some frozen ones to save, well, maybe there will be a FET in the future, before I hit 40 in 2013! As I walked tonight, I did my usual...mapping out the IVF process on the calendar in my brain. "If my period shows on Thursday, I can go in for labs on Friday, I can ask to start BCP's THIS month...start the pills on Saturday...14 days later start Lupron, 10 days later start stims, 9 days later ER..it will be my daughter's birthday, 9/22...5 days later transfer.....then on hubby's birthday, October 1st, will be the 1st BETA..... Ok, so I am a fanatical planner sometimes, and I know that nothing is set in stone with IVF, but planning it out in my head helps make this uncertain waiting period a bit more bearable. I feel like the longer this wait becomes,the IVF is never going to happen. I just want to start NOW! I am so tired of waiting...2 years is long enough!

1 comments:

VelvetMinxx said...

Word. I love planning. Cheers to your plan!

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