Ok, so I debated over whether or not I should post this....but I am gonna see how it turns out. I think I need to type it all out, for ME. It is really of NO importance anymore, yet at the same time it is...to my mental health, to my soul, it let me know that I was RIGHT! That women's intuition is ALWAYS right and to never doubt yourself or let anyone make you doubt your gut feelings!
So several years ago when I was married to my ex-husband, he changed, went through some sort of mid-life crisis at age 30 or so and was always gone, out hanging out and partying with all the young early twenty somethings that he worked with, including many females whose numbers would show up on the cell phone bill at ALL hours of the night and so on...I could go on and on. Lies, lies and more lies was my life at that time. I felt like I was not pretty enough, young enough, skinny enough....I couldn't even begin to compete. I knew a few of the people he spent a lot of time with and as couples we would OCCASIONALLY go out together, but mostly I was excluded, I was just the "wife", the boring wife who worked a full time job, took care of 2 young kids, the house, the dog...you know how it is. One of his best guy friends at that time was a guy named Buck. Buck had a girlfriend at that time named Beth.

They were a cute couple and were two of the few people that my ex hung out with that I actually liked and trusted. In 2003, Beth graduated from college and her parents threw her a big party at their house.....we went. I recall an evening hanging out in their backyard, they had a pool, and she had 2 younger siblings who were no older than maybe 15 or 16 at the time. A brother and a sister. I think we even were introduced to them in passing.

A few months earlier (December 2002) my ex had gotten a voice mail on his cell phone one evening while he was sleeping and it was from an unidentified female who said "Hey XXXX! It's me! I just wanted to let you know that my parents found out about the other night & they took my cell phone away, so you won't be able to get in touch with me for a bit".....Of course, the B&#@% wife in me kicked in, I woke him up, demanded to know who that was, and how OLD was she in that her PARENTS could take away her cell phone....I was 28 or 29 at this time! He was like 30! He lied of course. Said it was a wrong #, he had no idea who it was, or it was his "friends" playing a joke on him...in the end, I was yelled at for even mentioning it and for being insecure and so on & so forth. In the end, it was as if I had done something wrong, not him.

Weeks later at a New Years Eve party at the house of Beth,
the ex's friends (and the ones I even considered my friends too....Buck)
all confirmed that the phone message I heard was them all playing a "joke" on my Ex. Whatever! I ALMOST believed them, stupid me. But, I let it go.....thus, by May 2003 and the graduation party, my ex and I were still together.

So, this stuff went on for another torturous 8 months or so, and then I finally asked for a divorce. I was begged not to do it and to take him back, and was even given the great HONOR of a confession "Ok, I want to start over, I will be completely honest with you. I DID take out a high school girl on a date. We went to a movie. But nothing happened, I swear!" Ok, laughing, puking....get the H#$$ out of here I said. It was done. The months that followed were hard, we yelled and fought every time we spoke or saw each other, child support was scarce & when I got it, it was thrown at me, I was yelled at....and once, a few months after the split, he showed up with a young blonde to give me child support. She waited in the car as he walked over to my car and threw the money at me through my window. If looks could kill, hers would have. I knew she was the new woman. Ok, whatever. Good. He moved on. At this time, he also sent me an instant message one night saying "I think I have figured out what is wrong with me" Me...thinking "he is sick? what?" He goes on to say "yes, I saw it on 20/20. It is a condition where I am only attracted to younger women" Me thinking "Is this guy for real? Was I MARRIED to him for 9 years?? Did I really have two children with him???"

Ok, back to the present time & this mystery, this puzzle, that I have finally, inadvertently solved. The blonde that was with him in the car all those years ago is still his present day girlfriend,Maggie.

My 10 year old daughter recently said to me "Guess who daddy and I saw this weekend? Buck!" She went on to say that Buck now lives in another city but was in town visiting and so him and my ex and a few other guys all got together to see each other, my daughter went with him as well. She said "Buck is married now & has a baby" She also went on to mention that Buck is married to daddy's girlfriend's sister, and that daddy's girlfriend Maggie could not go with them because Buck's wife hates daddy and does not know that daddy and her are dating. Light bulbs going on, I ask if Buck is married to Beth...and my daughter says "Yes! That is her name!!". I say, "So your dad is dating Beth's sister? The same girlfriend that he told you he has been dating for 5 years?" Yes. Beth's sister is ,Maggie. This is her YOUNGER sister, the one at the party in 2003 that was 15 or so. THIS is the girl, who at maybe 16 or 17 was in the car with a 31 year old man as he threw child support money in my face. No wonder her family cannot know that she is dating my Ex, who is now 36. It all suddenly fell into place, the HUGE light bulb came on. Shane & I have always wondered how old my ex's girlfriend was, as she looks a lot younger than my Ex. The kids have given us various ages, 24, 26, 31. I never bought it. A mutual friend of mine & my ex's actually worked with Shane for a year or so (small world!) and she said that my ex's GF was not even old enough to get into clubs...that she & her husband sometimes still hung out with my ex and they would all tease her b/c of her age. So, after my daughter's innocent comments, I go online to where else...MySpace. I find Buck. I find Beth. I look at Beth's friends...her sister ,Maggie is her #2 friend. She even has a picture of her on there. So, after all these years, I can say that I was right, I was NOT the bad guy. My ex is dating a 21/22 year old who was probably 16 when they 1st started dating (while we were still married). No wonder why my daughter has said several times "Maggie thinks you hate her" and I always thought that was odd...why would I hate her? B/C she is dating my ex? Hell no! Go for it! But now, I understand. She was in the picture since BEFORE we split up & assumed that I KNEW, and therefore hated her. I feel bad for her actually.